How Talk About Debt Problems With Family Members
1. Recognise The Problem
Ignoring that there is a debt problem and hoping it will go away is one of the biggest causes of escalating debt problems. It is always best to face up to debt problems as early as possible as this gives you more time to do something about it and either adjust your financial spending or seek professional debt counselling as quickly as possible. Remember that your debt circumstances will have an effect upon all the family and it is usually best not to hide it from children, your husband or wife or partner. Be open, honest and transparent. A problem shared is a problem halved.
2. Make Time To Talk
Choosing the right time is crucial and is probably not best undertaken when either you or other members of the family are feeling tired or have had a particularly difficult day. Try to plan ahead and inform other family members that you would like to set some time aside to talk about the family finances. Set a day and the time you want to do it.
3. Communicate Clearly
Think about what you need to say and the desired outcome that you would like to achieve. Write down your thoughts to help you get some structure to the debt problems that you are facing as this will help you to explain clearly and concisely what the difficulties are that you are facing, how these debt problems will effect the rest of the family and most importantly what you intend to do about it. If you are unsure about your options, then ask other family members for ideas as this will help them take ownership of the problem and between you all might help resolve it.
For example if you are experiencing debt problems due to spending large amounts on recreational activities for yourself or the children, it is important that the children understand the cost implications. They may also understand your need to reduce these activities much better than if you simply told them that they were stopping. Make sure that you avoid jargon, especially when talking to children and explain any options clearly.
4. Be Open To Criticism
Accept that you have some responsibility for the debt problems that you face, and be humble enough to accept your mistakes. It is rarely the case that others are to blame for personal finances problems, essentially it is your money and you have to stay in control of it. Instead suggest an action plan for change and bring it to the rest of the family. Your action plan for dealing with the debt problems should be flexible enough to add other ideas that family members suggest.
5. Moving Forward
Getting all family members to take ownership of the debt problems and to contribute to the action plan for addressing your debt problems is essential. Encourage all family members to adhere to their agreed actions no matter how large or small. Remember that if you work together and communicate clearly it is very likely that you can find a positive solution that helps you regain control of your personal finances.
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